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Quote of the day

Stronger

When all things seem unbearable, just push your way through the madness and you’ll come out stronger.

Broken

I’ve been beaten up inside

Where are you?

Trying to not think

about what is true.

I’m not sure

if we fit right.

The truth

gets us to fight.

You say you care.

But I’m alone,

you’re not there.

Countries apart

and we don’t talk.

This isn’t right

I need to walk.

I’d rather feel alone

all by myself

than feel alone

when I’m with you.

Where are you

So being in a different country, far away from friends and family, is sometimes difficult. Something that is really emotionally draining is talking to someone that isn’t always there. I’m not talking about the deceased or anything along those lines. I’m talking about wanting to talk to someone who doesn’t always answer. It’s difficult trying to have a conversation with someone that doesn’t like to talk. I understand people that don’t really like texting or messaging but when you are far away from people that tends to be the only form of communication. I will continue to question why I still give this person my time of day when they are never there when I need them most. There is a lot of different emotions I’m going through and not being able to talk about them to one of the people I’m closest to hurts me even more. Maybe I just don’t understand. There’s so many people that are willing to be there for me but I can’t let go. I just like someone to talk to, to tell them all my hopes and dreams or just how my day went. I make reasons to keep myself from true happiness because there are moment when I am happy around them. This may make no sense to you but it’s just something that eats me alive sometimes. A puzzle I just cannot solve, I have the right pieces but not the picture.

Beauty

There are so many things I could say about how everyone is beautiful in their own way and how personality is part of beauty as well(ugly personality=ugly person). Try not to judge people too much on their appearance because you might miss out on their real beauty. My friends are my friends because they are kind, genuine people not because they have a nice appearance. All my friends are beautiful, inside and out. You are beautiful too, darling!

Something

There’s something inside of me that makes me the way I am. I’m very stoic, as some people would say. A lot of times I chose others’ happiness over my own because I feel happy when others are happy. I’m not the best at expressing my emotions, it’s difficult for me to be open towards people. I cannot cry in front of anyone, not even family. Sometimes that makes me feel broken, like there’s something wrong with me. The reason I don’t talk is probably because I don’t want to be analyzed, I don’t want other people telling me that I’m not ok. I hate it when people ask me if I’m alright. I know that’s just people caring about me but if you know me well enough you’d already know my mental state without asking. Too many things on my mind for me to function right now.